aThis blog has always been a sort of amalgamation of comical non-fiction and a super-sized scoop of self-help therapy ..for me. Whether posting the first entry dedicated to ranting about my reorg on Mat Leave, to exploring the suicidal world of my dog, to my son eating and subsequently shitting dirt. In all cases, this blog has become part diary of my insanity, and part pathway to the journey forward.
Tonight we explore my ongoing battle with workplace politics. Let me start out by saying how much I HATE office politics. I think all of it is a stupid waste of time and energy. There is NEVER a healthy amount, nothing good ever comes of it, and quite frankly, being in a workplace culture driven by it, is a damn shame. And yet, there it is, in my life, all the time.
I may have the deep rooted hatred regarding politics for the simple reason that I am not very good at playing them. In fact, I suck at it. I just want to walk in, kick ass and repeat. I don't want to have to worry about choosing sides, or stroking egos, or playing games...I just want to be efficient, effective and productive...and then go home to my family. No bullshit in between. It's a pipe dream, clearly. Every time I think I found a place that embraces me...I get let down...and am left to fail miserably at a game that I never learned to master.
Now, I could dwell on that shit for days. And honestly, when I do, it is a multi-day process. Day 1 is basically crying all day - hysterically - like a fucking toddler. Day 2 finds progressive acceptance, with a sprinkling of mild hatred. And Day 3 begins the moving forward phase, where I find a bit of Courage. Courage to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to be me and accept me for who I am, living and existing with no apologies. Courage to believe that God and the Universe have a master plan for me...and that it is their sick joke to never fucking tell me what that plan is.
And hey, if these Ass Pans decide that my amazing results are worth nothing because I am stuck in the middle of an executive political feud, then so be it. At least I remained true to my self - because I am perfect and whole exactly as the universe created me. Please note the affirmational tone in that last sentence. I have resorted to YouTube affirmations on the drive to work to maintain only throat levels of puking as I fear for my future.
If you are like me and cannot avoid the incessant sound of the Disney Channel in the background of your life, then you know that I am reminded daily to "DREAM ON PRINCESS". Well, you marketing nightmare trying to get my kids to buy more overpriced Princess shit, that is what I am going to do. I am going to dream of a world without workplace BS. Of a time when I can stop worrying about all the losers that get threatened by smart and ambitious people. The day when I can figure out how to work for myself and give EVERYONE a big ole' flying bird as I walk out the door.
From that dream will come action. Action to move forward and find that thing I need to do in the future. Action to stop apologizing for being a rock star. Action to help all my girls that have the same issues. Action to simply just sit and be proud of all I have accomplished. Because guess what, I have and that credit I deserve starts today.
Foul mouthed, outspoken and pretty much an eternal realist.