I realized recently how amazing the women in my life are. It all started at dinner with friends, where I was told that two people wanted to be called "Overachiever" in the blog. One of them actually was Overachiever as mentioned in previous posts, the other that was bummed she hadn't received the title.
I would like to believe that you are what you surround yourself by...or at least...that is what I am telling myself, so in honor of all the amazing women I know, today everyone gets their name. I am pretty sure all of you will know who you are, and many of you will know who the other is - which is why I love you all.
BabySis, aka Shammy, aka FreakishlyStrong, aka ControlFreak, aka ManicMama - all should be self explanatory, especially if you know her. She is my rock, my best friend in the universe and the only person that can tell me what I already know and don't want to hear, because she is pretty much the only person I won't brush off in denial as being an asshole. She knows my shit and I know hers, so we just tell it like it is is. I love you BabySis.
Overachiever - you know who you are - but thank God for you...you remind me that I am a parent and have responsibilities and your presence in Lagree suddenly makes me work harder - which is funny because I am totally not competitive and usually don't give a shit...so thanks!
Pinterest Queen - you were bummed you weren't Overachiever, but I personally think a Queen of anything is the best title ever. And honestly, if it is on Pinterest, you can do it...that's pretty friggen awesome. You are also a weight-lifting badass, but couldn't think of a good name for that. Feel free to Pinterest suggestions there.
SmallButMightyMama - Only girl I know that loves her some CoorsLight over anything else in the fridge - unless there is a bottle of Captain. She's hot, she's funny and for her pint size, is one of the most fun people you will ever hang with - her smile is infectious. Oh, and she is the only person I have ever know that pulled off the official CoorsLight bikini at the White Trash Pool Party - it was epic.
MaterialGirl - she owns more luxury labels than any of my other friends combined - but is not only unashamed, but one of the most generous and caring people I know - especially to her dogs. Seriously, this girl is all heart - she would give Louis to a Loser - just to make their day.
OnPoint- this one was the hardest to name. She exudes confidence, character, positive energy, and the world just gravitates toward her. She is the one always chosen to be on stage, and her presence lights up a room, because her EVERYTHING is always on-point - but her dogs are punks and they poop everywhere, so she can't be called "Perfectly OnPoint".
SuperPower - she's a PowerMama with two STEM degrees, freakishly strong, could pretty much kick anybody's ass, but her quiet nature keeps it all inside. She always does the math for me when I try to pay a bill, and honestly, no matter where she goes in the world, she will always come out on top. I don't know why she ever let me hang out with her, but how lucky I am that opposites attract. Cuz no shit, she is the ying to my yang 100%.
SuperMom - has twin pre-teen girls and another teenage daughter, all in club sports. She works a full time job, has two side businesses and is a MASTER bow and tutu maker. I owe not going crazy while pregnant and post baby #1 to her...she's amazing.
MontreLovely - one of my favorite people from one of my favorite towns, Montreal.
TheFighter - seriously one of the most talented Brand women I have ever known - she can make people believe dirt and concrete are an urban Oasis, and oh ya, she almost died trying to be a mom, but kept fighting and is now an amazing mom to a gorgeous little girl. She is also a freak show athlete and got me into Lagree...I love and hate her for that.
BrainBabe - seriously the smartest woman I have ever known - funny, witty, throws the meanest Derby Party on the planet and is the best damn Steeplechase and Honkey Tonk buddy you can find.
TheBreeder - my oldest and one of my dearest friends - she used to use the term "Breeder" about people with lots of kids - then she had 5. She is going to HATE this name, but there is no denying - she has made some GORGEOUS kids. Yes, you know who you are, you are AMAZING and I love you forever.
D - another one of my oldest friends and confidantes. She is the reason I moved to Nashville, made some of the best friends I have ever had in my life and met my Hubs. I owe a lot to her. She is gorgeous, smart, strong and just an all around incredible woman.
My mom is of course at the very top of this list - but she doesn't get any new name, because Mommy is the most special name I could give her. She is the reason I am alive and thrive and honestly, she makes me want to be a better person every day. I love you Mommy.
That being said, I know there are more of you...I may just have had a few too many cocktails to remember at this point. Feel free to bitch at me and I will give you a name. Actually, on second thought, maybe wait until tomorrow. Sobriety may keep me from calling you a bitch. Merry Non-Holiday to all and to all a good night.
What happens when you mix extensive work travel and exhaustion with an attack at your parenting? Answer - nothing good...ever.
After two weeks of travel, I am on my last leg connection in the Phoenix airport. When I land I have a message from the Pre-school Director - we shall call her P.A.B. - for Passive Aggressive....fill in your own "B" word. The message is asking whether they can give my son a banana, because he is starving and I apparently had stopped packing him enough food. Ok...let's investigate.
As I sit in an airport grab-and-go place, sipping on some soup, because after 6 hours of flying in coach, I am famished, I call her back - only to be told that the feeding schedule I have specifically set up and require was no longer going to be adhered to. Apparently my kid is watching other kids eat all day, and that's a problem. I'm sorry - "No", I simply respond.
And then, all hell breaks loose. Accusations start flying of me not providing my kid with proper nourishment, cuz ya, at 26-pounds at 11 months and wearing 18-24 month clothing- clearly he is withering away. I start getting super condensing about their inability to follow a simple plan, and the financials of the whole situation - and now shit has gotten heated.
Next thing I know, I am standing at a window at an adjacent gate, screaming about the audacity they have to challenge my parenting, and how dare they change my very important schedule because they want to entertain my kid with food. It got ugly - and I am pretty sure most of the 6:15 pm flight from PHX to SNA heard about it.
Now, I want to make sure that I make something perfectly clear - I - in every fiber of my being, am more than greatful - in fact, I am indebted to the women that care for my children all day. They are on the front lines, and I can't even imagine what it must be like to have 10 babies in a room at once - I would go postal, seriously. This isn't about them. This is about someone attacking my parenting when I am running on 3 hours sleep and airport food. Homey don't play that.
Here's the thing, I do not think it is too much to ask to require the people you pay to care for your kids, to stick to a schedule that you have in place for a reason. I get it, it's not the same as the other kids, but that shit just ain't my problem. My son eats four times a day, two times while at school - it's his routine, and it keeps him healthy, happy and sleeping well. That's all they should worry about. Let me know he needs more food and maybe a different mix of nutrition - sure - I'm on it. Tell me I am starving my kid and you got yourself a brawl.
P.A.B. and I do not speak now. We glance at each other and barely nod - we have an unspoken law of the west between us now. Could she kick my son out of school and ask us not to come back? Sure. Would I be hurt? Nope. I will go to jail any day for defending my right to know what is best for my child - I'm the Mommy bitches - rest of you be damned.
Foul mouthed, outspoken and pretty much an eternal realist.