Wish

A Wish for my son, on the first anniversary of his birth.  Yes assholes, this post is two weeks late, but at least I am doing it - screw you and your judgements.  Oh, and Piercey - sorry Little Man, this is going to be printed out and added to your book because Mommy is too friggen exhausted to write a separate entry - when I live to see your ass graduate from grad school you will thank me for saving the extra 40 minutes to sleep off all the sleepless nights you have provided me in your one year of life.  You're welcome.

So Piercey - in my 40 years on this earth I have learned a thing or two - and quite frankly, I am still learning, will most likely never stop.  I struggle, just like you will, to figure out where I fit in, what I can do better, and how I can make an impact.  I doubt myself everyday - and then find myself telling my Ego to Fuck Off - it's an internal struggle, and ya, I am pretty neurotic (don't worry, your sister got the crazy lady gene - it's sort of a thing with the women in our bloodline - we're all nuts - congrats for being a boy).  Every minute I have to remind myself how incredibly blessed I am,  because it is so easy to get caught up in all the day-to-day bullshit that you can lose sight of it all.  Honestly buddy - it's hard growing up, and newsflash, I don't think you every really do.  You are constantly hiking up a big hill - but at the end of the day, regardless of how hard it is, every little thing, is gonna be alright.

So on your first birthday, I wish you the following in life (some of these I need to remind myself of too):

1. I wish you strength to believe in yourself and your abilities.  NEVER let someone tell you that you "Can't" - especially not yourself.  You Can. You Will. End of Story.
2. I wish you the courage to try everything at least once (ok, except like heroin and cliff jumping - that shit is supposedly super addicting and can pretty much kill you instantly).   But aside from that - try foods, outfits, music, friends, luggage, socks with crocks (cringe)...whatever...try it all...at least once.  You may find something new that you love.
3. I wish you the sensibility to always do the right thing.  You are a good soul, you will know what that is. It may not always be the easiest choice, but it will ALWAYS be the best.
4. I wish you the ability to make good friends easily - and to keep them.  You will meet many people in your life, and a ton of them will be gone in a flash.  The special ones will stay with you forever. They may not be the ones you expect (ahem, take a look at the majority of your honorary Aunts and Uncles - they are a hell of a random bunch) but they will lift you up, help shape your world and always pour you a good strong drink when you need it.  Find them. Keep them. Love them.
5. I wish you health and vitality.  I really hope this one comes soon, because I have just spent the last 4 days with you and your sister having 102 degree fevers, and I gotta tell you, I need a break.  Nothing hurts a Mommy more than watching her babies be sick...so I wish you health and vitality for a nice long fulfilling life.
6. I wish you adventure.  This sort of relates to number two, but then again, it also doesn't.  I hope you can find adventure in all the things you do.  Sadly, this is one I struggle with - I always want to go FIND adventure, like I have to travel to some far off place to find it.  But really, you and your sister are an adventure.  So maybe you and I can learn together - every day is an adventure, we just have to see it.
7. I wish you good fortune - so you can make sure I am comfortable in my old age. (That being said, i am totally planning to make enough money to pay for my own fancy retirement home in some place tropical, but some spending cash would be nice. Thank you.)  I know I should put something about how money isn't everything and that good fortune could mean lots of things...but in this case...it doesn't.  It means money.  Make a lot of it.  It's a bitch, and it doesn't buy happiness per se, but it also doesn't hurt.  So ya...good fortune...I hope it flows to you in a river of abundance.
8. I wish you faith.  Faith in whatever you want to believe in.  I personally believe that the Universe has a plan - although, I have to remind myself to trust it every minute.  I am such a friggen control freak I want everything to go as I plan, but it can't. I have to have faith that God or the Universe, or whatever the higher power is that is out there, has a plan that will make everything the way it is supposed to be.  So please, just believe in something outside yourself - but not someone like Jim Jones or Scientology or any of that shit - I may have to disown you for being an idiot.
9. I wish you love.  This is probably the most important of them all.  Love. In all its pure and wondrous goodness.  Love for your fellow man.  Love for your family.  Love for yourself.  Love for...well...love.  Just keep an open heart and everything else will fall into place.  Hate is for assholes. Do what you do out of love, it is all you need.
10. Finally - I wish you life.  Now this may a bit profound, and I don't know if I can explain it. I wish you all the protection on this earth to live a full and amazing life.  Cherish every single day - we just don't know how much time we have.  Make good choices.  As my current boss says to his son's - "Don't Die".  That pretty much sums it up.  Be smart. Live Life. Embrace it. It's the only one you've got...don't waste it.

​

Ok, so that's it.  Basically I want you to be more than I have ever been or could be. You are going to be amazing Little Man...and I hope to God I am here long enough to see it.  I love you.  Good Night.