Today we will be talking about Parental Pride. This is slightly related to a future post that I will be doing about Parental Shaming - as we seem to shame everyone for everything, including their parental pride, as we will talk about now.
Look, I am all about being proud of your kid. I am convinced that pride, along with guilt and worry come as a package deal with the amniotic fluids that house your kid in the womb. Inherently, everyone should be proud of their kid. But here's the thing...there is a silent, unspoken limit to how much you should publicly subject others to your abundance of parental delight. Take this person for instance. Honestly, all you would need to do is put ONE sticker on your car, and I would see that your kid was an honor roll kid. After the first sticker, the other six are just overkill - teetering on the side of annoying. On one hand, I am starting to suspect you simply stole a stack of stickers and are just putting them on there so I THINK your kid is smart, when he is really like 60 crayons short of the 72 box of Crayolas. On the other hand, I must ask how old your kid is, because if you are planning to continue this ritual through high-school, you may need a bigger car.
tThen, there are always the parents that are convinced their 4 year olds are going to be Olympic athletes, Super Star sponsored soccer players or the next Tiger Woods. Now, I know that all athletes started somewhere, but please people - your kid is 4 - let them be a kid. Having them hanging at the gymnastics studio 7 times a week is just mean. Let them at least turn 6 or 7 before you force them into a lifetime of cut-throat competition and life altering disappointment. Despite what you may believe, at the end of the day, they are just kids under there - 7 lessons a week are not going to change the fact that they still eat their own snot - sorry.
While we are on the subject, being the rebel mom does not hold you harmless here. If you reference your kid having anything at all to do with the honor roll student - you too have a problem. Being just as publicly proud of your future inmate child as the mom is above about her nerd, is just as annoying. Same deal - keep it to yourself. Besides, things like this just make you look like an asshole.
Finally Parents, let's address how we react to incidents at school. As the mom that has the kid that acts like the enforcer - determined to right the world's wrongs with physical force, I am usually the one being shamed, and rarely - if ever - the one soapboxing my daughter's brilliance. Yes, my daughter smacked your kid for cutting in line. Yes, my daughter squeezed your daughter's face for making fun of her friends. And yes, my daughter kicked your punk ass son because he pushed her into the slide. Yes, yes and yes. I get it - my kid doesn't take your kid's shit - and she gets in trouble for it. Got it. Thanks. But you don't see me bragging about the fact that my kid is essentially the Super Hero here. Instead, I silently accept the administrator talking-tos and the terrible looks that other parents give me since my kid got the Incident Report and sent to the office. Don't act all high and mighty - your fucked up villain kid didn't get in trouble - mine took one for the team. At the end of the day, it's fucking PreSchool. Your kid's crusty underpants are no different from my kid's. They are all learning together - and we as parents need to just be there to support all of them - regardless of who they are. Being a kid is tough - and while its important to build our own kid up, it's almost more important to build ALL KIDS UP. Let's collectively make sure that we don't tolerate bullying, don't support cliques and firmly encourage behavior of love and respect towards all. That's the shit we should be preaching and broadcasting - not gross shit like this.
Foul mouthed, outspoken and pretty much an eternal realist.