Tonight we are going to discuss the first of what I can see being a series of posts about signing your kid up for public school. This epic biopic has been conveniently named "Kindergarten Round Up" because, well, that is its actual name. Yes. Yes it is. The open enrollment period for Kindergarten is called a "Round Up". WHY?!? Do you know where my mind goes? It splits between visions of Woody, Buzz and Jessie playing out western scenes from Toy Story and a huge bottle of weed killer that I need to buy to kill all the grass in my backyard. I absolutely DO NOT think of filling out paperwork to put my kid into school. But clearly that is just me, because apparently it has been called this for years.
That being said, Part 1 is all about the adventures in figuring out what the fuck you are actually supposed to do. I still don't know. I have now spoken to several parents, all of which have a slightly different opinion on how this has to go down. I have at least one over-achiever friend, yes, you know who you are, we will call her Overachiever from here on out, that was patient enough to call the school and get some more info. Unlike our daughters that are basically in competition every second of everyday, they in fact are the living definition of Frenimies, I have decided that attempting to compete with Overachiever on the mothering front is an exercise in futility - she would win. She sews costumes, hand makes invitations, is on-point with all homework assignments, and yet is still uber cool and down to earth. I should hate her, but, I just can't - and I hate that. She's awesome, and thank God for her, because she takes the time to figure out what we are supposed to be doing. As you can imagine, I am RARELY the responsible one in relationships. Shout out to you Overachiever - you are the rock.
Anyway, I am thinking the confusion thing may be a strategy by school districts. Perhaps they want you confused, so you screw it up, and thus don't get your kid enrolled. Maybe that is a school overcrowding tactic. I don't know...but I want to know why the hell it has to be so hard?
To me, it should be simple. Kid is of age, kid goes to school. But NO...there is paperwork, immunizations, utility bills, birth certificates, after school care lotteries, etc etc etc. IT'S MADNESS! And like you didn't already feel like an asshole parent all the time already, now they have to have you guessing whether you are going to forget some form and be shunned to the corner begging the school to let your kid get in - even though that is their zoning designated school! I can't imagine the idea of going to a selective private school and begging and praying that your kid gets in. I would give up and move to Canada. I have zero time or tolerance for that nonsense.
Tonight I spent 40 minutes in an online system doing "pre-registration". I then have to figure out when to take said pre-registration work, along with all my additional proof of existence to the school to sign her up. Please note the same website that took my pre-registration, lists the dates for Round Up for LAST SCHOOL YEAR. So ya...they are fucking with us some more. Strategy.
ADHD MOMENT - My husband knows that I can't listen to music with words when I am working or writing, so he was nice enough to leave the room when he felt musical just a few moments ago. But now, he is upstairs, no joke, singing LOUDLY to a Spotify playlist that I can only explain as the Seattle Karaoke Suicide Set. This is the second night in a row. I think he may actually be practicing for the next time we go to Live Band Karaoke. That isn't distracting at all Hubs. Thanks.
In any case, the next step in Kindergarten Round-Up is to determine the dates that I need to physically go to the school. I will keep everyone posted. Overachiever, if you are reading this, I will be texting you for the next 4 days to find out when we need to go. Yes, I will attempt to call the school myself, but I would rather not become the black sheep quite yet - I'm saving that shit for the PTA.
Foul mouthed, outspoken and pretty much an eternal realist.