I am sorry to say it, because he is a perfectly good piece of cardboard, but I fucking hate Flat Stanley. For those of you that don't know, Flat Stanley is a character from a book that gets flattened for some reason (I have never read the book) and now gets the pleasure of making parent's lives a complete nightmare for two weeks.
I have decided that I am fundamentally against this project for 3 reasons - 1) Basically, since my kid isn't reminded about the assignment in school, I have to do all the work; 2) Who the hell can remember to cart around a piece of cardboard into the 10,000 things we do in our lives; and 3) Why the FUCK does my kid have homework in Preschool? Don't I at least get reprieve from this crap until Kindergarten? Honestly, I think I am most angry at myself. Why the hell did I just stress for the last hour, at 9:00 pm on a Sunday night, when my kid has not mentioned this project ONCE. Not once. The only reason we had any pictures was because I saw the damn thing on the counter and threw it in my purse. I am pissed at myself for not forcing my kid to do the work and doing it for her, because I don't want her to get a failing grade. In Preschool. That's fucking neurotic, but true. This will NOT be happening again. In the meantime, we will be talking to C.C. in the morning and walking her through the Travel Journal that she did absolutely nothing on, so that it isn't a complete surprise to her if the teacher reads stuff out of it. So ya, that happened, and so it begins. I look forward to 12 years of making sure my kid does her own shit...I got my own deadlines.
3 Comments
Mom
3/13/2018 12:40:08 pm
Jessica Jessica Jessica. You’ll survive.
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Kathleen Rowe
4/14/2018 05:27:47 pm
I hate Flat Stanley, too. For weeks I've had to listen to the bitching of my BFF who got one in the mail from a so-called friend because the mother and kid live in some godforsaken state that has nothing worth photographing. But my BFF lives in New York City and has no kids so of course she must have loads of free time and a lot of transit money to traipse around the city with her bad back, nerve pain, and a host of other issues. After weeks of this nonsense, the upshot of the whole thing was that, because of her bad attitude, she felt guilty that she had not done enough. I told her she had gone above and beyond the call of duty. She didn't believe me--until she started sorting through all the shots she had taken. There are so many that now she's bitching over how many days it will take her to sort through them all and create a write-up to boot. Meantime, out of the blue, said mother suddenly decided to give my friend a three-day deadline so my friend is stressing out big time. Yes, I hate Flat Stanley, too, and hope to God I never get one. LOL.
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4/17/2018 03:21:21 pm
Post Script to my previous message: I felt so sorry for my exhausted and stressing friend that I volunteered to revamp her story report that had some serious photo and text placement issues. Opened a new Word document with a two-column table and started copying and pasting photos and captions into that. Thought it would take about an hour. It took at least three--into the night--because there were photo glitches and whatnot in the original with inexplicable space frames around them. Wound up screen-capturing each photo and pasting into the new document; quicker and easier than adjusting the wonky originals. Got it all straightened out and proudly e-mailed the re-do to my friend who had gone to bed hours earlier while I toiled away for her friends I don’t even know! Next morning I get an e-mail titled, “You’re gonna kill me but…” There was a photo missing that was sort of important but not to worry. Yeah, right. Back to the original draft she’d sent me to hunt for the missing photo that had been hiding behind another one. Ran into @#$%^&* glitches inserting it into the table I had created. Swore some. Got it straightened out. Sent the “Flat Stanley Final Final Draft.” Today my friend made a few tiny changes and has e-mailed me the “Flat Stanley Final Final Final Draft” so we can keep our records straight. Meantime, back at the ranch, I don’t think the first grade kid has learned how to write, but he sure has learned how to get other people to do all the work: Mom, friends, friends of friends, and the Kinko printer guy who printed the 15-page story out double-sided and spiral bound. At least he got paid for it. Flat Stanley continues to spread his evil across so many innocent lives.
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AuthorFoul mouthed, outspoken and pretty much an eternal realist. Archives
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